you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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