The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
