Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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