fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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