my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
