Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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