I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
