I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
