it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
