only if we run a train.
done.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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