I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
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Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
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Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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