pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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