You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
