so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
