I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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