Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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