STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize