I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
