your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
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