sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
they're like a gay fantastic four
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
