No, drunk sperm still make babies.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
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How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
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she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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