how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize