i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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