around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
