He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I am one with the molecules
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
