wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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