I just saw a hot homeless man
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize