I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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