I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Too much gin, very little bucket
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
