On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My liver just had a heart attack.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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