It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
