U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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