I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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