Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
