sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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