So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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