i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
