***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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