I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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