and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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