i need an iv and a liver transplant
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
