ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
