I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
