he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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