a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
