I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
