bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
