woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
