i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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