Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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