Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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