Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
