there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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