I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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