And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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