you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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