Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
