WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
