woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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