I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
